I love interviews. No really, I do. They involve meeting new people and having an intense conversation where people are interesting and interested. They’re memorable and idealistic, like going on a first date!

People always laugh when I tell them that going to job interviews is just like dating. But the reality of an interview is that both parties are sizing each other up for a long-term commitment. Just like a first date, an interview involves a special sequence of body language in order to build a relationship quickly. In an interview the rapport is paramount and the details of the actual job is secondary.

In the last year I have attended eight interviews (including one today which went very well ) Of the seven prior to today, I received an offer for every one, with the exception of one interview where I decided the job was not for me and I gave feedback to that effect to the agent before the employer had time to make an offer. Once you know the secrets of job interviews you can essentially choose your employer. That said, there will still be cases where rapport cannot be quickly gained with a particular interviewer, and so following any set of ‘rules’ is not an assurance of a positive result.

So, how do you gain rapport with an interviewer?

To be honest, this depends on how your target audience (that’s the interviewers) gain rapport with you. This is not a cop-out, but a true view of how relationships form. People like other people who communicate like them. There are a few points of communication however, that tend to be shared amongst interviewers.

One of these points of similarity is the handshake. The business handshake is a universally recognised form of respect. The handshake should be firm and friendly and accompanied with a sincere smile. These are people that you want to meet and become friends with! The handshake sets the mood of the accompanying conversation and really has the chance to make or break the interview. A poorly executed handshake will put interviewers on edge, and this will emerge as an unconvinced tone of voice which will quickly unsettle you. If during an interview it feels like you’re trying too hard to gain approval, then consider that you might have shaken hands innapropriately.

Next, if the handshake has been well received, consider your posture throughout your conversation. At all times it is important to have excellent posture as this shows that you are alert, interested, confident and poised for action. Retaining a posture where your shoulders are back, chest is full and your head is up (maintaining eye contact) is critical throughout your interview. Have a look at how your interviewers sit; you will find that if they are experienced and confident interviewers they will be doing the same. Slouching or leaning backwards gives the impression that you are lazy and disinterested, so do not attempt to get ‘comfortable’ by dropping your guard and letting your posture go. As the interview progresses, you may find yourself starting to lean forward towards the interviewer whenever he or she speaks. This shows that you are very interested in what the interviewer has to say, which is great for rapport. Do revert to an erect posture when it is your turn to speak however, so that you come across as being confident and intelligent rather than someone who needs a lot of guidance.

When it is time to answer questions in an interview, the tempo and rythm of your speech needs to match what you are saying about your personality and style of work, so that your message is convincing. If in doubt, err on the side of speaking a little faster and louder than usual as a faster tempo implies excitement, and excitement can be catchy! In my case, I market myself as an ‘I can solve many different problems and get things done’ kind of person. I know this is true about myself because I am very task oriented, and so I feel comfortable with this choice of self-marketing. As a result, I have an interview speaking style which is congruent with my image – quickly spoken, confident and to the point. If instead I was marketing myself as a very thoughtful, accurate and sensitive person I would speak more slowly and pause for thought before answering questions.

The way you dress also reflects your personality and should be congruent with your self-marketing package, otherwise your interviewers could get a niggling feeling that you are insincere without knowing why. If you applying for a position where the interviewer is looking for accuracy and you are claiming to have that trait, you had better have a well-pressed tie if you’re a man and a properly coordinated outfit if you’re a woman. If the interviewer wants sensitivity to other people but you are dressed for a power struggle, or the interviewer expects good appearance and fashion finesse but instead you look a little frumpy then you are missing a crucial element of rapport.

The content of your replies should repeat a common message which sums up your unique selling proposition (USP). In my case, I find many different ways to say “I solve problems. I don’t mind what you give me, I will seek out the answer and solve the problem” Your USP may be “I know everything there is to know about X” or “I build really close relationships with people”. Whatever it is, the more you can repeat that message but in different ways, the more that USP will be associated with you. You don’t need to be a jumble of all things; if you present your USP very simply and directly the interviewers will feel that they have got to know you well, and this fosters a good relationship.

You can tell when an interview is progressing well when the language shifts. For example “you will be doing X… er, if you are successful” is good, it shows they are actively considering you for the role already. Saying just “you will be doing X”, on the other hand, is even better because this implies they have already decided they want to hire you. The time-line language of a successful interview always goes from further in the past (eg. our company was founded in 1953…) to the present (we make the finest widgets in town/what do you do?) to the future (you will be doing X) to the distant future (what do you want to be doing in 5,10,15,115 years time?). The more future-tense the conversation heads, the better your interview is going. Again, this is like dating… will you be ‘The One’ for them?

Lastly, you should always be happy, positive, fun and friendly during an interview! Keep in mind that you will usually have to work with at least one of the interviewers, so if you can have a laugh together then the interviewer can feel comfortable that when time comes to work with you you will not be a bore, or argumentative or just plain grumpy. Quick witted and memorable jokes are always a plus!

When it comes to finish up the meeting, you should now be friends. Another good business handshake is in order, and your tone of voice when saying it was nice to meet them will sound more like “see you next week!” rather than “I hope I will see you again”. Even if they are interviewing a number of people and they have been guarded during the interview it is still better to presume by your tone of voice that they will pick you – it shows confidence and friendliness.

So, good luck in your next interview! I hope you receive good value from applying these tips. Drop me a line and let me know how it goes

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