- Looking after my endocrine system
- Reducing my weight back to normal after gaining 3kg
- Completing four weeks of C25K
- Creating a balcony garden
This is the first time in a while where I’ve set goals to focus for a full 30 days. I have been allowing myself to be scattered and start a lot of things, and so for me this has been a test in discipline. Yesterday was Day 18 of 30 and I did find that in the past few days I had lost my focus a little and so I need to get back on track. Yesterday I decided that spending a day away from the computer would be a good idea as I tend to get sidetracked by reading so many different ideas and opinions. So the computer stayed off the whole day and I thought that was quite good. I did end up watching TV to get the election results in the evening, but I still felt that the computer-free day was worthwhile.
Today I’m going to the Eat Your Balcony event in St Kilda and I’ve been reading the book Chi Running, so today when I go for a run I’m going to practice some of the body focus techniques.
The area in which I feel I need to improve most is my diet, I have slipped back into a couple of bad habits in the last few days, out of convenience rather than out of desire. The other area in which I need to improve the most is to relax and not push too hard against what is. I think the reason I have been drawn to a little more convenience in my food is because Wednesday I felt burnt out and exhausted and ended up staying at home to sleep for much of the day. Then Friday at work I had a migraine and yesterday I suddenly got tired and fell asleep for 3-4 hours in the middle of the day. I’m not sure what’s up, but I suspect that some past tension has been catching up with me and it needs to be released.
Where did the tension come from?
I’ve been fighting against my career – I’m only six weeks into working for a new employer but my intuition is telling me that I need to work towards a different career because its not who I want to be anymore. At the same time, I like the fact that my current employment gives me the ability to afford good quality food, a nice home, stability in my life and a high calibre employer who provides many additional benefits to their staff that other employers do not offer. So instead of fighting with where I am now and feeling negative, I need to work with what I have in order to design the life I want and move forward to that destination. Part of that requires me to release any tension and go with the flow yet at the same time looking for opportunities that will propel me into the direction that I want to go.
I’ve also been fighting against significant relationships. I tend to hold a belief that my existing close relationships ‘should’ provide me with support for moving forward into becoming the new person that I am moving towards. But everyone moves towards their own goals and desires, and so if I am moving in one direction and someone else is moving in another direction I have no right to expect them to provide interest or support in what I want to do. The best thing would be to make new friends and new support groups for each interest, and then enjoy that interest with another person who is passionate in that area. That way there should be less tension in my relationships with family and friends where the relationship is based around the length of time rather than being interested in the same things. Its important to have a balance between having some relationships such as family and marriage and close friends where you have known each other for a very long time, and some relationships where you are interested in the same things. They don’t have to be the same!
It sounds as though these obstacles don’t have much to do with my four focus points for these 30 days, but when we’re holding onto negativity and tension in some area, it does spill over to other areas due to stealing focus. By being aware of these two areas in which I keep fighting against ‘what is’, I hope to stop fighting and instead, to relax and go with the flow, enabling me to achieve my goals with success.
I think that with any worthwhile goals in life we tend to follow a certain pattern which allows us to move forward:
- Excitement about the new goal – doing everything we can to achieve the goal, everything is going wonderful!
- We hit a stumbling block in the form of an external problem (the juicer breaking during a juice feast for example) or an internal tension coming to the surface (this is what I have been experiencing)
- We consider giving up on the goal and look inward to decide if we have the strength and personal character (often we decide we don’t and we just give up here)
- If we get past step 3, we formulate a new plan to get past the obstacle and push hard to get to the finish line
- We achieve the goal and the memory of breaking past the obstacle is imprinted into our unconscious memory to build up our strength and personal character for next time
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